{a little bit of me} a day of mixed emotions..

Today started off like each day does in our household.. mumma getting brekky ready for everyone while getting frustrated at the little man for getting into the fridge because all the locks we install seem not to be zaccy rated.. Ella fussing over which outfit she would wear this day and what shoes would go the best.. etc etc..

But me, I was a stressed mumma on edge.. you see, today we had Zaccy's ear specialist appointment in the morning and Ella was starting big girl Kindergarten in the afternoon...

I was relieved that we were going to the specialist and pretty certain of what the outcome of the appointment would be and I was right. The little man is going back into hospital to get his grommet put back in. It's good, great, nice that he will get some relief again, that he will hear a little more clearly and that his ear infections won't be as dramatic. In the same moment I feel anxious about taking my little man in to the hospital, knowing that again I will have to hold him while the anaesthetist does his business.. wait till he feels almost lifeless in my arms and the walk out and wait for him to come out of surgery.

Don't get me wrong... I am so incredibly thankful that its just his ears that are giving him trouble with a little dose of eczema sprinkled on his body.. I'm incredibly grateful that he is a tough little kid and seems to plough through life as if he was invincible.. but I still worry and feel so sad that he has to go through this again.

On the up-note, my little girl is currently in her very first session of big girl kindergarten. The drop off went well, she was so apprehensive that she was going, but in the same moment so excited to be taking the last step before school. I think she dreams about school already to be quite honest. She wondered quietly up to kids she had never seen before and joined in with their games. She sat at the table and introduced herself to the little girl that was sitting there.. She was unsure of her new surroundings but sure that she wanted to be there.

I on the other hand, had that big moth in my stomach.. omg.. my girl is going to kindergarten. I no longer have to sign her in and out, she is responsible for putting on her own hat, going to the toilet yada.. yada.. She's super great at all those things, almost to the point of OCD, but I'm normally there to watch her or get super detailed feedback from her carers. On the other hand a part of me peeled off like an layer of onion does. Deep down I know she's ready and so incredibly excited about being ready... so it was time for mumma to suck it up and let her enjoy this next step of her life.

My tantrum throwing hunky spunky little monkey took my mind off the fact that I was leaving my little girl behind though.. He really wanted to stay, and was over tired and there was a water play tray outside..

She often drives me nuts when she's here, but I so can't wait to go and pick her up today and hear all about her day..