the REASON for the trip to the country..

I've never been a huge reader of books.. Why? Not entirely sure but reding a book that's not either a computer manual or a book on parenting or a book that teaches me something has always seemed like a waste of time. I wish that wasn't so, but for some reason that's just me..

Since having kids I've done a heap of reading of kids books to the kiddos.. The books don't often teach me anything but the kids love them and I guess I fulfill my reason above by justifying reading the books, with teaching the kids something.. I so hate being practical sometimes..

I've been somewhat obsessed with Dr Seuss since Ella was born.. I've bought every Dr Seuss book I've come across.. So getting to the point.. If you have ever read Hunches in Bunches, you might get a good perspective of how I've been feeling lately.. in a nutshell.. all over the shop and chasing my tail!!

Last week a number of things happened which I looked at as signs just to stop and throw in the towel with my little business and go back out into the real world and get a job. Then I've questioned which direction to take kasiabear designs.. I've got so many ideas and started projects that it's hard to focus. My little kamikaze's are changing and evolving every second.. which also makes me question whether they are in child care too much and I should be soaking up every possible second with them before they start school or whether to up child care a day a week so I can focus a little more on my work. Then I've questioned whether or not I am taking good enough care of myself and the household and focusing too much on the business..

I then look at people like Claire from Scissors Paper Rock and think.. how on earth do you manage to be a teacher, run your own business, take time away to spend with your family, be an awesome mum and write such a gorgeous blog.. or Naomi from Seven Cherubs.. yes seven.. OMG.. I can barely keep up with two.. or Shan from Missy Melly, a nurse and an acupuncturist, who is a mumma of twin girls who she looks after full time while running Missy Melly.

It makes you question yourself, whether you are doing enough, it brings on all those funny belly feelings...

I am super crap at taking time out, at chilling out. Seriously crap!! I don't watch TV cause its a waste of time and I don't read books unless they give me information or teach me something. Baths... eh.. too long!! My chill out time is sitting on the computer and fiddling with photos or reading blogs.. but my body doesn't relax, it would much rather sleep or at least lie down.

The only way I truly relax is by physically removing myself away from the house and far enough with enough distractions so I cannot think about work or what needs to be done around the house.. So.. thats what I did..

We made a date with auntie G to visit her mumma in the gorgeous Adelaide Hills and spend the day on her little farm with the kiddos and auntie G's fury kids.. And all I can say is that it worked.. I chilled!! I had no other option than to chill.. and it all makes so much more sense..

More on the trip soon..

3 comments:

  1. you know i am very similar to you kasia in that i don't stop... i always seem to be rushing around doing bits and pieces, cleaning, organising

    i do understand how you feel about your business as i have those doubts too... it would be even harder if i put my girls into care to try and get things done.

    just know that you are doing the best you can... you know you are... you are an excellent mumma, who has a heart of gold.

    don't compare yourself to others... i know thats easier said than done!! but if did that i would need more than a trip to the country... well you know what i mean... i also think people put their best "face" on their blog so while you often see people who seem to have it all together on screen you never really know whats going on behind the scenes

    keep doing what you love because without that you will die in some way... so if that means you pull your kids out of some care and devote time to being a mum then do it... if it means you do more of your business then do it... if it means reevaluating how to balance it all then do that

    all i know for sure is that we only get one chance at each day... one chance to be a mumma to yours kids, one chanceto be a wife and friend,,, one chance to be you.

    for me that means putting a lot on hold until my kids are at school so i can spend as much time with them as possible before i'm too embarrassing or they tell me where to go... which we all know is coming in the future!!

    take care hun... you know where i am if you need a chat ANYTIME

    xxxx

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  2. I feel snowed under sometimes too. Would love to have a trip away like that it sounded lovely. Chin up xx

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  3. thanks girls..
    it's all sorting itself out..
    clarity is an amazing thing..

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have a beautiful day..

kasia